


Catching Snowflakes

by Star_Nymph



Series: To The Moon and Back [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Almost Kiss, Asperger Inquisitor, Asperger Syndrome, F/M, Fluff, Panic Attack, though it's internalized but I mean that's Eurydice's thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 12:53:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11036568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_Nymph/pseuds/Star_Nymph
Summary: Once upon a time, Cullen told Eurydice that he use to catch the snowflakes that fell from the sky.





	Catching Snowflakes

**Author's Note:**

> Based on several prompts so, here we go: 3. Hesitant Kiss, ‘Cheiloproclitic – Being attracted to someone’s lips’, ‘Basorexia – An overwhelming desire to kiss’, ‘Baisemain - A kiss on the hand’, ‘Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move’
> 
> Sorry if the writing style is a bit erratic; I was working on something new to better express Eurydice’s state of mind, but I think it just came out rather redundant to read. Maybe I’ll write a second part, I dunno yet.
> 
> If you have any comments or helpful tips please feel free to write something. I’ll definitely appreciate the feedback! Thank you for reading!

The snow drifted down from the night sky; little fluffy stars that landed on her hands and melted into the warmth of her skin. Eurydice counted them out by the ones, the tens, the hundreds, the thousands, as they floated down to the floor and over across the crumbling merlons. Layer by layer of dusting snow she liked to drag her fingers through and create nonsensical swirls as she walked passed.

Cullen’s boots left vague prints in his wake and, soundlessly, she dragged her cloak up off the floor and tried to place her foot in them, a game to play while she followed him. It was a fun game, one that she was quite good at, because it distracted her from the sound of her own heart drumming in her chest, flooding her ears when her eyes would linger too long on the Commander’s back. It wasn’t a sound she enjoyed--she liked the snow and the foot prints and the nightly walks she took with the human with her, comfortable in each other’s silence, but not the sound of her own heart or the way Cullen seemed to have control over it.

Or the way her heart squeezed when he was gone--like without that annoying drumming, she had lost all the music in her soul.

Eurydice flexed her fingers in her cloak and stepped into another foot print. As she did, she heard something come from Cullen. A noise, pretty and low. A song.

He was humming, halting in his track, and had turned his head up to the sky. Snowflakes landed on his cheeks and eyelashes, honey brown eyes glowing like embers in a hearth against the white. As a few came down, he opened his mouth to catch them on his tongue and smiled in the same way she had seen little boys do; innocent and simple, carefree even with that scar that had caved in part of his lip, an eternal reminder of what he had become and what he had been for so long.

It was beautiful.

Creators, _he_ was beautiful.

She may not like the drumming of her heart when she saw him, but that scar? She loved that scar. If she must learn the word ‘love’ then let it start with that scar.

Cullen hadn’t taken notice of her when she walked up beside him, perhaps too caught up in happier memories. She stood there, looking to the same point in the star kissed sky as he, and then gently placed a hand on top of his.

Cullen blinked at the touchn and looked down at her with a sheepish expression. “Inquisitor, I, er...”

Eurydice’s gazed at his mouth, the stars, the mouth with the scar, where the smile had been, and then back to the stars glittering, “You were smiling. Were you happy?”

The human scratched the side of his face and then the back of his neck. “Um, happy, you ask? I suppose...” He turned to look back out over the mountains, at something he could no longer grasp, and then said “I was thinking, to better put it. When I was a boy, I would go out during nights like this and try to catch the snowflakes before they touched the ground. I’d run around for hours with Bran until Mother came hollering out, ready to turn our backsides red. I had fallen ill one too many times for that nonsense.” The smile was back. “It was ridiculous...to catch every single snowflake.” As he said that, that brightness began to dim, the smile slowly dripping off into sorrow, as if he wasn’t allowed to revel in such things when they were said out loud.

No, he shouldn’t lose that. Eurydice didn’t want him to.

She reached up and grabbed his cheek, her thumb hooking into his mouth as she yanked it upward. Cullen made an absolute undignified, gurgled sound, “Wha-uh awre you downg?”

“Do not stop smiling. I like your smile, Cullen.” She stated plainly and pulled his cheek again. He grimaced rather than beamed. “I do not think it is ridiculous to catch every snowflake. You should do it again; I’ll help.”

“I dwon--ff-swop!” Wincing, Cullen grabbed her wrist and managed to detach her from his face, leaving red to blossom across his cheek. “I don’t think we have the resources to catch every single snowflake, Inquisitor.”

Her fingers wiggled at him, trying to do it again, “Ask Josephine.” She was serious. The ambassador had the contacts and they had the man power; catching each and every flake that drifted down would be no impossible task if that’s what he wanted.

Warm white air escaped Cullen’s lips as his body shook, his lips quirking up inch by inch, and Eurydice couldn’t tell what he was doing. Did she say something wrong? Her brow furrowed as Cullen took her hand and pressed it against his mouth. His lips made shapes, his beard scratching pleasantly, and she felt the vibration of unheard words coming from him.

No, wait.

She squinted at her hand as she heard noises start coming from him. He was...giggling. Laughing.

“You are...too much.” He rumbled out and kissed the center of her palm.

“How can I be ‘too much’? Too much of ‘what’?” She didn’t understand, didn’t get even a sliver it, but he was smiling and she thought that maybe ‘too much’ meant something good.

Tentatively, she brushed her fingers over his cheek, marveling at how rough he felt, and her thumb touched his scar.

“Never you mind.” He responded and over her skin, his words felt the same way a mug of hot ale made her feel--liquid dosed in flames, burning so hot but never melting away. Wonderful. Overjoyed. Overwhelmed. Don’t stop. Don’t ever let him stop. Softly, she caressed his lip scar, the pad of her thumb tracing up and down it, carefully tugging it to see it and his lip stretch, wondering if she ran her tongue over his red lip and bit it, would it taste like a berry?

Eurydice didn’t realize, as she played and prompted and pondered, that Cullen’s breath had caught in his lungs, or that his eyes had glazed over, or that her hand guided his head down to hers. And that he was waiting.

Then, she tilted her face up and felt the tingle of his lips only inches from her.

She could kiss him.

It was so near, he was so close, she could see if his lips tasted like berries or if they tasted like snowflakes or if he was entirely his own flavor, one she’d become maddeningly addicted to.

They were both tense, paralyzed by the anticipation of what could be. Eurydice released a nervous breath and brought her other hand up to cup his face. Cullen was warm; she was touching the sun in the winter. She tried to will herself to move forward and feel his mouth on her eyes--but then her hands, they began to shake.

The drumming of her heart was pouring into her ears, vibrating through her head, sending shock waves into every single one of her nerves.

_No, no, too soon, too much, she can’t, she couldn’t_

_Couldn’t._

_Couldn’t._

**She was scared.**

“I have to go.”

The sun escaped her fingers as Eurydice abruptly let go of Cullen and shoved herself away from him. She didn’t give him a chance to stop her, running away with her cloak knotted in her hands, throwing open the decrepit doors of the towers in her pursuit to out run her own fears. In her haste, she nearly propelled herself off the battlements when she came to one of the staircases. With clumsy feet, she barely found her way down to the frost laced grass and slammed her body against the nearest stone, hoping that in doing so, she would become one with it and disappear from sight entirely. No such luck; Eurydice heaved a sigh and slid down to the ground.

Her chest hurt. She pressed her hand over her breast and looked up at the sky.

She wondered if Cullen’s chest hurt just as much as hers. If the thoughts of his own emotions overwhelmed him like they did her--or if she was alone, a fool who couldn’t handle the torrent of her own emotions.

Snowflakes were falling. Eurydice opened her hands and watched them land one by one, wishing she had stayed with Cullen and helped him catch every single one.


End file.
